Investigation of the Lost Class Register

Jára Cimrman, as a pedagogue, was asked to prepare an entry on the Czech lands for the "Pocket Manual" of the Austro-Hungarian officer corps. At that time, he knew Bohemia only from a map of the Austro-Hungarian Empire at a scale of 1:500,000. He wrote: "The Czech lands, as to their surface, can be characterized as mountains, valleys, black forest. Between Sušice and Písek there is a desert. North of the city of Kouřim stretch vast tobacco plantations all the way to the smoking capital of Šluknov. Fossilized remains of extinct mammoths are mined by industrious Czechs in the vicinity of Veltrusa. Also worthy of mention is the occultist lair of Duchcov and the resort of southern Bohemian wealthy folk, Prachatice. The spas of Volary are known for the treatment of thyroid disease. The Czech Paradise is a land of nudists. The local Adamites and Evites walk here as God created them, clothed only here and there, heedless of ecclesiastical threats from Mnichov Hradiště. Their center, a memorable castle, the nudists named with a Czech word for a beautiful woman: Kost." It remains a mystery to this day whether Jára Cimrman contributed to the manual out of mere ignorance, or whether he was driven by the intention to disrupt the officer corps and prevent it from conducting operations on Czech territory.